Alopecia, Authenticity and Dancing Your Way to Finding Your "No"

Hey there, my luscious sisters!

It's Laura, your braless bestie and unhooked host of the Braless Lush Podcast. If you've been tuning in, you know we're all about ditching the bra, the bullshit, and those limiting thoughts that hold us back from living our most vibrant, lush lives. And let me tell you, the latest episode was a total feast for the soul – sparkly, sassy, and seriously inspiring.

I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with the gorgeous Michelle L'amour, a burlesque legend who's not just shaken her ga-dunk-a-dunk on stages worldwide but has also danced her way through some profound personal pivots. If you haven't listened yet, grab your favorite bubbly (or sparkling water with bitters, like Michelle's clever fake-out drink) and hit play. But if you're here for the highlights from my perspective, buckle up or should I say, unhook? because this conversation left me feeling empowered, reflective, and ready to shimmy into my next chapter.

First off, can we talk about Michelle's entrance into my world? I met her years ago through her burlesque school right here in Chicago. I even dusted off my old pink turkey feather boa from her Santa Baby class for the episode – feathers everywhere, just like old times! Michelle's not just any performer; she's Miss Exotic World 2005, has graced America's Got Talent, and even has her own Wikipedia page (goals, right?). But what struck me most was how she's evolved from "Toots L'amour" (a name that got mispronounced one too many times) to the confident, authentic force she is today. Her tagline? "The ass that goes pow." Iconic. We dove right into her famous "Buttoven" act – yes, that's her butt cheeks isolating to Beethoven's Fifth Symphony in a tux and tails. It's classy, hilarious, and a total workout. Michelle shared how it's gone viral, taken her from Vegas residencies to gigs in Paris and New Zealand, and even evolved into "The Butt Cracker" for the holidays. As someone who ballroom dances as a hobby (quickstep in feather-trimmed dresses, anyone?), I totally get the thrill of channeling different parts of your personality through movement. Michelle's acts range from romantic feather dances to prowling panther vibes – no single character, just pure, multifaceted her.

But the heart of our chat? Michelle's raw honesty about alopecia. For those unfamiliar, it's an autoimmune condition that causes hair loss, and Michelle's dealt with it since she was six. She opened up about the childhood embarrassment, the wigs that flew off on the playground, and how she spent years covering up spots – even at the height of her career. Imagine being a burlesque star, all glamour and rhinestones, but hiding this part of yourself because you worry it's "not sexy." In 2018, she made "The Big Reveal" video, taking off her wig and stepping into her truth. Now, with her shaved sides and convertible mohawk (top up or down, as she calls it), she's accidentally (but totally intentionally) cool. People stop her on the street to compliment her look! As women, so much of our identity ties into our hair, our bodies – heck, even our "bush styles" through the decades, as Michelle hilariously pointed out. Hearing her story reminded me how we often endure things silently, denying our impulses to fit some mold. Her pivot to authenticity? It was met with overwhelming support from fans and venues alike. No more masks – just real, powerful Michelle.

We also geeked out on body positivity in burlesque. Unlike the strict standards in ballroom or traditional dance worlds, burlesque celebrates all shapes, sizes, genders, and vibes. It's punk rock at its core – a rebellion against diet culture and Instagram filters. Michelle nailed it: individuality is what's truly beautiful. As we age, confidence ebbs and flows, but burlesque taught her (and me, vicariously) to own it. She's now an intimacy coordinator and confidence coach, helping women find their "yes" and, more importantly, their "no." We talked about the Wheel of Consent workshop she did – learning what a full-body yes feels like, versus enduring relationships or situations that drain us. Ladies, we're pros at endurance, but why?

Michelle's advice: get quiet, get soft, journal, meditate, therapy – whatever modality resonates.

Keep a list of your accomplishments to remind yourself you're capable. And when pivoting? Choose yourself. Loyalty starts with you.

Speaking of pivots, Michelle's in the thick of one right now. After accidental stints in LA and Vegas (pandemic rent hikes, anyone?), she's ditching the desert for New York City. No solid plan yet – just intuition pulling her toward real energy, architecture, art, and ambitious souls. She's wrestling limiting beliefs like "I'm only worthy if I'm taking my clothes off" (hello, performer life), but she's committed to softening, planting new seeds, and trusting opportunities will bloom. It hit home for me – this has been my "spaghetti year," throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks. We're never too old (or young) for change.

Michelle's mantra? Live your life in rough draft. Redline what doesn't serve you. And in the words of Mel Robbins (shoutout!), "let them" think you're crazy.

Michelle's lush? Craving stimulus, inspiration, and passionate people. Mine after this chat? More boa-shimmying confidence and quiet time to feel, not just think. If you're feeling stuck, start small: feel your yes/no, list your wins, reach out to friends for perspective. And remember, no experience needs to be endured – especially not a bad wig or a draining gig.

Want more? Catch the full episode on all the apps or YouTube – we cover everything from my sparkly red "Dorothy-as-a-stripper" shoes to why burlesque dancers can't commit crimes (glitter evidence everywhere!).

Follow Michelle at michellelamour.com for coaching or on Instagram @michellelamour. And don't forget to subscribe to the Braless Lush Podcast, hit up thebralesslush.com for my Unhooked newsletter (your inbox cocktail with reinvention tips), and snag the free Screw It Strategy Journal when you sign up. Let's keep it loose, live our lush, and dance our way to our next big yes. Meow for now!

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Michelle's Butt-Toven Performance

Laura

Your Braless Bestie and Unhooked Host xoxo